Ruins of Sterling

Hurrah! The Chancellor, George Osborne has managed to dig an escape tunnel under the M25 and explore the grim wilderness of ‘oop north’, where he was spotted chatting to some metal-bashers at Lucchini UK in Trafford Park.

I actually visited this firm once, and was impressed by the huge collection of Japanese Quality systems books in the Production Manager’s office. Just think, Gideon might even have wandered half a mile down the road to see us at Sterling Technology. Or at least, he would have been able to do so if we hadn’t been closed down in 2007 following the takeover by Altana Chemie.

It wasn’t a very bright day, and my camera was fairly low quality; but still, I got a few shots of the old place before the site was completely flattened. But the saga of Cameron and Osborne would take a dramatic turn in just a few years…

July 2016, The Story So Far: smooth, chisel-jawed chief executive David Cameron has invited the workers in his widget factory to vote on whether to remain part of the local Industrial Trade Cooperative, which helps them with logistics, disaster management, and pension fund planning.

The board of Directors was split, with several of the most colourful characters advising the workers to break away. ‘You don’t need to be part of this union’, they claimed; ‘If you leave, you can keep all of your wages and everybody will still want to buy our widgets even though they haven’t been approved.’

Everybody was very confused by this and they voted to leave the union by a tiny majority. The workforce celebrated wildly, and people were seen showing off their swastika tattoos on television. Visiting contractors from other firms were subjected to verbal abuse and some of them had their garden sheds burned down by angry neighbours.

And now poor, poor David has resigned from his post; he has been replaced by gorgeous, pouting Teresa May (a bright girl, but with zero understanding of science) and Gideon George Osborne has been replaced by Philip Hammond. And the senior diplomat’s job has gone to Boris Johnson, the ultimate naughty schoolboy. It remains to be seen how provocative he can afford to be in his role as Foreign Secretary.

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