In years to come this post may be incredibly obscure, so here’s the background: the 2014 Eurovision Song Contest was won by a Drag Queen called Conchita Wurst, who wore a neat beard, lots of mascara, and a fabulous gold dress while she performed ‘Rise Like a Phoenix’, which was completely and utterly Bond-tastic.
The more conservative European countries (Russia) fulminated about this degeneracy, ondemning it as the end of civilisation, and threatening to start their own wholesome, respectable, family-friendly song contest.
So everybody else launched a campaign of mockery, pointing out that Conchita had nothing on the Church Elders when it came to lavish wardrobe ammunition.
Anyway…I work in a fairly ordinary manufacturing facility where most of the staff tend to be a bit old-fashioned and not very comfortable with bearded men in gorgeous frocks. And for the past week, my colleagues have been discussing the issue of La Conchita in tones of grim disapproval and disgust.
And I decided to join the conversation by saying ‘Yeah, but have you seen the stuff that they wear in the Russian Orthodox Church?’ This turned out to be a bad move, since one of the people at work was actually a member of the ROC and found my remarks deeply offensive. Apparently all this ecclesiastical splendour is justified in the name of heritage and tradition. A bit like stoning adulterers, I suppose…